Contact Us

Big Foot Accused Of Sexual Assault Of Colorado Man [SATIRE]

Dave Mangels, Getty Images
Dave Mangels, Getty Images

The Glenwood Springs Police Department and the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency are investigating a reported attack on a man who was attacked by an 8-foot-tall hairy gorilla-likee creature that dropped out of a forest tree, punched him in the face and knocked him out, according to the World News Daily.

When Darryl Whitaker regained consciousness, the creature was stripping off his clothes and underwear.

The alleged Sasquatch, or “Big Foot,” could not be reached for comment. His agent did not return our calls.

Kudos to the World News Daily, that beacon of truth and bastion of journalistic integrity, for scooping the rest of The Fifth Estate on this story of the decade with this story. The World News Daily is probably best known for their great coverage of Bat Boy, who always seems to find himself in precarious situations. And they also have other great interest pieces, such as when Obama banned cows from American cities.

Note: When I went to their site, my web browser plug-in from Web Of Trust popped up a warnings for “Trustworthy and child safety.”

Best of 106.3 Cowboy Country

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for 106.3 Country Club quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive 106.3 Country Club contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.