The Daddy of 'Em All kicks off this weekend. In my neighborhood, that means drunk people will soon be turning my yard into a urinal.

Surprisingly, I've busted more women than men in recent years. Luckily, the women have the decency to go in the bushes and usually have a friend standing guard to make sure nobody's looking. The guys don't care who's watching.

My unofficial count last year was three people watering the lawn; two women, one dude, all wasted. And those are just the ones I caught. Who knows how many drunks I didn't see?

It could be worse. To date, nobody has puked on my lawn during CFD (knock on wood).