Scientists Warn of Strange Human Behaviors During Eclipse [SATIRE]
How many stories have you seen, how many experts have explained how animals are going to act weird during the eclipse?
Sure, a frog might wake up in the darkness and think his alarm did not go off, so he starts croaking. Bats might think it's feeding time. All the while the day time animals will head to bed thinking, "Where did the day go?"
But, all thing's considered, that is not so weird. The humans, on the other hand, are already acting weird, and we haven't even reached eclipse hour yet.
We have doomsday cults and end time predictions. We have people who are afraid to go outside for a million different reasons and people who are waiting for the ufo to come pick them up.
1. Hippies will try to open an interdimensional portal with dance and chants to the sound of bongos and the smell of patchouli and weed.
2. Stores are running low on tinfoil for all the hats being made by those who want to block the intensified cosmic rays. Those conspiracy theorists will then lock and load, hunkered down in their doomsday cellar waiting for society to explode.
3. Some people will travel through anything to see the event. But some do anything and everything in their power to stay home just to avoid all the traffic and noise.
4. The police and first responders have prepared for the worse. They are not sure what the worst means, but they have done several unspeakable acts just for testing purposes, such as serve Mac 'N' Cheese without using milk or butter in the power mix.
5. People will dress up. People will dress down. Some will get naked.
So enough of all the talk about how 'weird' the animal community is going to act during the eclipse. I'm sure the animals are already looking at us humans thinking, 'the hell is with those bipeds now?'